~May Your Light Shine :D~

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Yesterday, I finally managed to attend a service of Adam Road Presbytarian Church (ARPC). For those who don't know, or forgot, I made 2 failed attempts in previous years to visit this church to have a look and the fact that I went all the way to Adam Road/ Kuo Chuan Presbytarian only to see a closed door, was one of the deciding factors for me to stay in Moriah. Back then, I was still wondering should I stay in Moriah or not and was looking for a church that I might settle in instead. Now that I have decided to go to Moriah for these few months, I took up an opportunity to visit ARPC with a friend.

The service was quite conservative, but obviously not as conservative as Moriah (who can be?). Non-charismatic but we sang a few Hillsongs songs and modern hymns, very similar to my OCF in Adelaide. I was introduced to a few new songs by Keith and Kristyn Getty.

Speak, O Lord - jhael

There Is a Higher Throne - Getty, Keith & Kristyn

Ps Christopher Chua preached on Christ and culture, how in these last days, people will be lovers of self, money and pleasure but not of God (2 Timothy 3:1-5). In my only quiet time the last few days, I have been searching my own heart and judging my own behaviour. I have been waiting for the various kindergartens to get back to me so that I can start working with the children for my research project. However, in the past month or so, I have been calling up, mailing out letters and waiting. I tried researching more on my topic, but I have hit either dead ends or been reading what I have already read. I ended up watching a lot of shows to pass time. The amount of time I have wasted this way is truly obscene and I have begun to loathe my idle self. In the past week, I suffered from misdirected love, choosing to love myself and pleasure before God. And all I can say, I wasn't happy.

You may be working hard in school or at work and envy the holiday that I seem to be having, but I would give everything to be disciplined, motivated and hard at work. I do not think that I am a workaholic, I know how to relax and have fun - maybe not the same way some people do, but I definitely do not shun from the idea of chilling out, which happens to be the perpetual mode Im in these few weeks. Instead of helping out more at home or doing my best to meet up with friends (ok, maybe the lack of money is restricting my activities in this area), I spend almost all day in my room. To be honest, I am disgusted with myself.

Although I do not attend any fellowship at the moment, I attend bible classes weekly and serve in my church choir. However, just as Ps Christopher mentioned, a rise in spirituality/religiosity does not mean a rise in godliness. In fact, it may go in opposite directions and what I ought to be chasing is the latter.

I am sharing my heart here as by writing it down, I hope to be kept accountable. I do not know how many people are reading this blog, but by declaring my stand openly I pray that I will be able to get out of this rut I seem to be falling deeper in. It may well be a case of the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. However, I have learnt that even when I feed the flesh, I will never be able to experience true joy and fulfilment, for such things only come from obeying Christ, which I currently am not doing. Dear friends, please keep me in prayer, that I will be able to return to my first love.

Lydea blogged at 1:23 PM

May your light shine...
in the darkness...