Friday, March 30, 2007
Its funny how some non-Christians would stop themselves from discussing about a person lest it becomes a bitching session while people who claim to know Christ have no qualms airing their misgivings about another brother or sister-in-Christ to others.
Gossip - its so natural, yet so wrong. I constantly struggle with knowing what is gossip and what is not. Often it can be disguised as concern (does " Let's pray for..." sound familiar?). A pastor once mentioned that gossip is when the act of sharing is not part of the solution to the problem.
Gossip is also a way we judge others, which really isn’t our job but God's.
Matthew 7:1 – “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.”
Gossip is also a sign that we are not really active in our faith and in our lives. If you think about it, the busier we are, the less time we have to gossip. We no longer have the time to get wrapped up in someone else’s life. And the Bible warns us against it many times.
1 Timothy 5:13 – “Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to.”
Leviticus 19:16 – “Do not go about spreading slander among your people. Do not do anything that endangers your neighbor’s life. I am the Lord.”
Romans 1:29 – “They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips.”
Ephesians 4:29 – “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
Proverbs 6:16-19 - "There are six things that the Lord hates, yes, seven which are an abomination to Him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that run rapidly to evil, a false witness who utters lies, and one who spreads strife among brothers. "
Even just listening to gossip is wrong!
Proverbs 20:19 - "He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, therefore do not associate with a gossip."
Matthew 12: 36 - "But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgement for every careless word they have spoken."
When someone hurts us, its so easy to just tell a friend about our grievances, to seek comfort. We may mean no ill to the other person, but that is not the way God wants us to handle our problems.
Matthew 18:15 -"And if your brother sins, go and reprove him in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. "
Or if you know that someone is doing something wrong:
Galatians 6:1 - "Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted."
I may sound like I am advocating confrontation, but I believe that it is what God wants, only if we do so in love and not for vengence or to prove that you are right.
I myself have been at the receiving end of the result of gossip and I do not wish for anyone to go through what I did. It also pains me to see how many get put off by Christianity because of how we as Christians appear to be such hypocrites. Its true that we are human after all, and it is human to err. I admit that I myself am not free of this sin but by the power of Christ, we can overcome it.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
as requested by Val, I am now updating my blog.
Well I am back on campus, not in the big and comfortable units but in the small but homey townhouses. Less space means less to clean. I was initially worried about where to put everything, but after setting everything up, I realized I have more than enough space and I have pretty much settled down into my room. Being on campus also means you won't be seeing me update as often (more so out of laziness/busyness than stingy-ness) but I'll try to be better this year cuz internet is cheaper! Not really actually, but I need to use more to make my money's worth.
I forfeited my bond... can't be helped I guess, but my landlord managed to find someone to move in like the next day. Emailed him, hoping he replies. Maybe he'll be gracious enough to return me part of my bond. *praying hard* On hindsight, if I had been honest with him about the girl changing her mind about the room, I might not have had to forfeit the bond. Oh well...
The reason why I moved out in such a hurry was because my landlord billed me $120 for bringing people to see the room. Well, he brought 8 ppl and the first 2 are free and the next 6 were at a discounted rate of $20 per person. The costs include picking them up, showing them around the house, answering phone calls, etc. The thing was when I asked if it was ok if I referred people directly to him, he said ok and did not mention anything about billing me. So I was so shocked when I saw the bill. Thankfully I had 2 friends with me (who were there to look at the room) who brought me to the International Students Services Unit where I was directed to the Office of Consumer and Business Affairs. There I was told, that no matter what I shouldn't be paying for such a thing. Well, it'll be awkward to stay on if I do not pay for such a thing right? And initially there was a girl who said she wanted the room but she changed her mind.
Back on campus, I was faced with another dilemma. Qin says my life is like a drama, someone ought to help me write my life story. I chose a townhouse in which there is 1 Singaporean, who is graduating in April and 1 Chinese girl doing her PhD. When I moved my stuff the day before I got my key, I was really happy to find that they are both nice people. However, my Singaporean housemate wasn't all too pleased about the arrangement. You see, as she grads in Apr, she decided to share the contract with another girl who will be coming back at the end of this month. This way, the both of them need not pay rent for the whole semester. But there will be an overlap between the times she leaves and the girl comes back. So she thought that she could just simply move into my room, since it was empty. There were other rooms in other townhouses that were empty too and 2 girls from another townhouse even came to find me to try and persuade me to move in with them. The thing is I felt really comfortable in my current townhouse and I was too tired to move. So I decided to stay put.
Some of my friends felt I should move, since my current housemate didn't really want me there. While some felt that I should just stay where I was, why should I move based on the convenience of others? Another friend put it this way:" You asked for that room, and God gave you that room."
I have finally settled down and starting to catch up on readings and research for assignments. It feels good to be doing what I need to do. My housemate is fine with me now, no animosity or anything and I am enjoying long talks on the phone with others on campus. I guess you can never underestimate the power of support from friends nearby, esp when you are away from family.
All is well now, thank you all for your prayers. Sorry for making you worry. Just missing my old housemate, Samantha...
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Lord... I need you... now....more than ever...
You are all I need... restore my soul...
Saturday, March 03, 2007
I think many people should know my predicament by now.
I was foolish, blindly optimistic, obstinate... and made the mistake of moving out of my showroom apartment with the best view on campus.
When I arrived at my new place 1 week ago, I realized how pampered I was last year. This current place is not exactly a dump, but it obviously cannot be compared to my previous accommodation. Being in a daze due to a lack of sleep on the 7hour midnight flight, I went through the notions of moving in, going to Raymond's place to get the rest of my stuff and lugging them into a room that barely seems to fit them all. Unlike last year, I was all alone in this new place, without friends around me. The first 2 nights were unbearable. My new housemate (who is really nice) had guests over, which kept me awake, despite me being dead tired. For the first time I've been overseas, I felt terribly homesick. Even trying to cry to sleep did not help.
Honestly, the room is fine. But what is really pushing me to move out and back on campus is the 25min walk to school (I have lessons at 9am 4 days a week btw). Walking to school in the cool mornings is ok, I've turned it into morning chats with God, thanking Him for watching over me and praying for someone to take over my place soon so I can move out. Walking back in the middle of the day, with temperatures soaring above 35deg Celsius, up the steep hill, is not easy. As much as I would like to put up a brave front, I do not think I can do it for the rest of the year.
Since last week, my life has been an emotional rollercoaster. Highs when people express interest in the room, and lows when they choose not to take it. I do not know how long I can take it and cope with the readings that have seem to flood in with every lecture I attend. Thank God the assignments aren't due till a while later.
But every dark cloud has a silver lining and I would like to say my cloud is probably half silver. During this period, I come to realize I am truly blessed. All my friends have been wonderfully supportive. Not a single one said "I told you so" although I would probably have said that if the roles were reversed. My housemates who know me for only a couple of days helped post notices in the various campuses for me. Everyone tells me that things will work out eventually/soon and I know that they do not know when things will work out but they just want me to keep my hopes up and not fall into a depression, for which I am very grateful.
The best thing of it all, is how Quiet Time with God have become so personal and close to heart. First He reminded me that He answers prayers, ask and ye shall receive. Then He told me to cast my cares on Him and His peace will guard my heart and mind. Yesterday He said He hears when I cry out and will deliver me. And today, El Roi - You are the God who sees. Its simply amazing how He reminds me everyday that my heart is in turmoil, that He is here for me and He is truly all I need.
I believe that every thing happens for a reason. Qin says my life is full of dramas. Perhaps... I do not know why things do not go smoothly at times, however I know that whatever happens, God has a reason for letting it happen. And I believe that I have taken out valuable lessons from this incident. Firstly, not everything can be measured by money. True, I may have saved money moving out of campus, but the convenience and comfort of being around friends is gone. Also, before insisting of moving off campus, I should have thought it through more carefully about living off campus alone. I guess there are certain things that you only learn through experience.
A friend told me that she thinks this incident is a blessing in disguise as she feels I have changed for the better through it. Whether or not I have changed, only time will tell and by God's grace, I'll pull through this!
Thanks to all the blogs i referred to (countless) for html code help :) (esp. cyn' and sixseven)
Adobe Photoshop Elements for supernatural abilities
