~May Your Light Shine :D~

As the deer pants for the water brooks, So pants my soul for You, O God.
Psalm 42:1 (NKJV)

Sunday, June 29, 2008

It is 2 days before my last paper for the semester. Its been a pretty relaxed exam period if you compare it to the madness last year when I had twice the number of papers I have this time.

Its been a while since I last blog - though its just 3 papers, the amount of assignments and other stuff that had to be done during the period leading up to this was abit over the top. This will probably be the last time I blog before the holidays.

My July holidays have always been somewhat of an impromptu situation every time. The first year, I received news of my grandfather's death and had to squeeze onto the plane in time for the funeral. Last year, I booked tickets to Sydney just 2 days before I flew for the Hillsong conference, and as it turned out was one of the best spontaneous decisions I ever made (not that I make alot of these). This year proved no different.

From the beginning, July was a time of uncertainty. To go home, not to go home. At first it hinged on when my brother will be graduating - Dec this year or Feb next year. After forcing an answer from him, which led to undesirable consequences that I will not dwell upon, I decided to spend my holidays with him and his friends - snowboarding, hotsprings... An ideal winter holiday.

Alast! It was not meant to be when I found out I could not extend my air ticket which was due to expire end February next year. I have long decided to do my placement here in Australia and doing honours, meant this year's summer would be placement time and summer placement is from Jan-Feb. If my air ticket was for a few days later, there would be no problem. However, I did not want to risk rushing through placement just so I can leave by the stipulated date. But SQ refused to grant me an extension, saying that 1-year tickets cannot be extended. I didn't want to go home! SQ were increasing their ticket prices, almost double what I paid in the first year and I hoped not to have to spend money on flying if I could help it. But no choice...

The week before exams, I received a call - from Linda. This was the lady I met in Sydney last year that offered me an opportunity to do missions last December. However, as I wanted to spend time with family then, I could only go in Jan/Feb but we couldn't arrange for that. This time, she was in Adelaide to meet with some of my friends who are going to do missions this holidays and the Lord prompted her to call me. It was nothing short of a miracle she had her flight changed and found my number as she recently lost all her contacts. But she did and we met up.

As we were catching up, she shared with me about a summer camp for the orphans from the Sichuan earthquake and asked if I knew of anyone free during July-August and would like to help out. I responded immediately and said I was free. Since then, its been a mad rush to settle a number of things on top of studying for my papers. My return flight was booked on 6th july and I was waitlisted for earlier dates. However, I could only fly a few days after I arrive in Singapore and I needed to fly home as early as possible to be able to make it in time for the first summer camp which is on 7-18 July. Thanks to everyone who has been praying for me, this first hurdle has been cleared - I've got a seat on the 2nd of July! =) Now, its up to the visa application and air ticket.

It sounds a little bit rushed and crazy but one thing I know is that where He calls, I want to follow. I am tired of just talking about missions and not doing a thing about it. Now that I have an opportunity to go, I want to go for it. I do not know what lies in store for me but I hope this trip will allow me to see if I am right for it. Thank you for all your prayers and support and please continue to pray that God's will be done.

Lydea blogged at 4:21 PM

May your light shine...
in the darkness...

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

The song "You Raise Me Up" has been sung by many people - Secret Garden, Josh, Becky Taylor, Westlife... Now this guy who is a worship leader is releasing an album and one of the songs is this. Well not that he has a bad voice, but... he is not Josh! And seriously, after Josh, anyone who tries to sing this song, just seem to pale in comparison.

I realized that therein lies an important truth. When we try and copy another person's success, we will fail. Because we are not them. Every time we compare ourselves with others or wished we were someone else - we are doomed to fail. Simply because we will be wanting to be someone other than ourselves, someone whom we were not meant to be.

We are all uniquely made, specially crafted by our loving Father. We all have a purpose that no one, absolutely NO ONE can replace. We were made for different purposes and if we try be someone else, we not only lose the purpose we were made for, we are rejecting the One who created us as well. We are saying His plan for us is not good enough, we want another one.

True fulfilment comes from stepping into the purpose He set us for. Stop comparing. Just be who you were meant to be.

On a side note, watched Prince Caspian today. Absolutely loved it. And by that, I mean, both the movie and the guy =)

Lydea blogged at 1:25 AM

May your light shine...
in the darkness...

Sunday, June 08, 2008

I want to release my expectations.

Why?

Well, where there are expectations, there will also be disappointments. No expectations = no disappointments.

My God is a very practical God. You learn about something one day and the next day, He gives you a chance to practise it.

At OCF on friday, we learnt about bitterness. Candidates for bitterness are people with a victim attitude - claiming to be blameless and better than others, claiming to be betrayed. Exaggeration and comparison just adds oil to the fire.

Today, I found myself in exactly that position and I can't differentiate if I am more upset with the people that caused it or with myself for feeling that way. Either way, I don't like how I'm feeling right now.

The words of "Healer" constantly float through my head - "Jesus, you are my portion, you're more than enough for me". If these words rang true in my life, I wouldn't have felt that way regardless of what happens. My problem was that Jesus was not enough for me. I wanted more and because of that, I have been disappointed and hurt again and again.

Hebrews 12:15 says "See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many."

I have to nip this in the bud! But if I continue to wallow in that pathetic pit of self pity, then I will just be watering the seed of bitterness and letting it take root in my heart. So what should I do?

Friday's bible study taught that the prescription for bitterness is knowing our position in the kingdom of heaven. No matter what happens to me, I am still a child of God and that is all that matters.

I will have to release my disappointment and hurt to the Lord. Only then will I not harbor any ill feelings toward anyone and continue to love them from the bottom of my heart. But I still want to release my expectations on everyone (except God cuz He is the only one who never fails me). I want to love others and be a friend to them and not expect anything in return. This way I won't be getting disappointed or hurt again. And Jesus will be all I need.

Lydea blogged at 9:21 PM

May your light shine...
in the darkness...

Friday, June 06, 2008

Today I bumped into a friend with her boyfriend. Got a surprise when I found out I did know the boyfriend (I had a hunch but wasn't sure) and was even more surprised that he is still studying in Melbourne Uni (as I remembered). Man... I wish I had someone who would do that for me... someone who would go through great lengths just to be with me. Then I realized... I do. And he sang this song to me:

I've heard it said that a man would climb a mountain

Just to be with the one he loves

How many times has he broken that promise

It has never been done.

I've never climbed the highest mountain

But I walked the hill of calvary

Just to be with you, I'd do anything

There's no price I would not pay

Just to be with you, I'd give anything

I would give my life away.

I've heard it said that a man would swim the ocean

Just to be with the one he loves

How may times has he broken that promise

It can never be done

I've never swam the deepest ocean

But I walked upon the raging sea

I know that you don't understand the fullness of My love

How I died upon the cross for your sins

And I know that you don't realize how much that I gave you

But I promise, I would do it all again.
Just to be with you, I've done everything

There's no price I did not pay

Just to be with you, I gave everything

Yes, I gave my life away.

Love song ~ Third Day

I might have posted this song before but I just love it so much. The first time I remember hearing it was at Convention 2006 and they played this song with a clip from Passion of Christ for communion. My tears just wouldn't stop flowing cuz it hit me so hard what Jesus did for me. I am not ashamed to say that there are times when I keep crying as I think about what He did on the cross. Its not new news but nothing can beat that. In fact, I am very afraid of the day when I think of it and not feel a thing. That to me, would be one of the worst thing I can do.

Lydea blogged at 11:51 PM

May your light shine...
in the darkness...