~May Your Light Shine :D~

Sunday, May 11, 2008

I am currently reading a book called ‘Heaven is so real!’ that Mao has so kindly bought for my birthday. And I have been reminded once again to blog.

Whenever I blog, I write an essay, so you can just imagine how long it takes for me to jot down all my thoughts in a coherent manner, with the intention of letting others understand my own journey with God and hopefully know God as well.

As usual, I am really busy with school work. And while its tempting to whine about how terribly confusing my lecturer’s instructions are, I do remember that this blog has not been dedicated as an emotional outlet for me. I have my patient friends who never fail to lend me listening ears for that.

The point for this post was a follow up to the previous posts. It must have been plain to see that I wasn’t having the best time of my life then. Every time I go through a rough patch, I ask God, “What is it that You want to teach me?” This is especially when I seem to be going through the same thing again and again. Either I have not learnt my lesson or there are new lessons for me to learn.

Once again, the problem stemmed from me saying something that hurt another person. Before I knew what the problem was, I was very confused. I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t know what. It was hard to pretend I was normal when I obviously was troubled. Im not good at lying to others or myself. After finding out about the problem, another emotion arouse within me - one that I have not felt before. It was anger.

Whenever I find out I have hurt someone, I get very upset with myself for not handling other’s people feelings properly, for not being sensitive enough. I would get angry with myself. But this time, I got angry at being misunderstood. Yes, people have every right to be hurt if my words offended them. But do I have the right to be upset if people misconstrued my intentions? When my genuine concern gets taken as being judgmental. When friendly playfulness is seen as an insensitive remark. I am truly sick and tired of being misunderstood time and again.

So do I have a right to be angry? The conclusion I came to was that the point wasn’t whether I had that right, but whether I was willing to give up that right. It well may be that I have every right to be as upset as the other person. Despite knowing that we live in an unfair world, we all seem to strive for fairness. Somehow we all have an innate tendency to have an eye for an eye or a tooth for a tooth. However, this incident pointed me to the fact that our Saviour gave up many of His rights for us. He gave up His glorious place in Heaven to come down to Earth which He created. He gave up His position as the Son of God to be the humble servant who washed the feet of His disciples. He gave up His authority over life and death and died for our sins, that we may gain eternal life.

Despite how the people treated Him then and even knowing that 2000 years down the road, some people will still treat His name with contempt, He had and still has every right to wipe out the whole human race for we are His creation. But He gave up that right and bore our sins and shame, all because He loves us. So its not about having rights, its about giving our rights up for love. And we love because He first loved us (1 John 4:19).

Lydea blogged at 3:48 PM

May your light shine...
in the darkness...