Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Played captain's ball yesterday... for like 3 hours... and the last time I played that was like 3 years ago?
My butt, thigh and calf muscles are all aching now - payback for not actively exercising ever since leaving school. Yea I do go for a run every now and then, thanks to Mao who calls me up everytime the weather is good. But nothing as long and intense as what I did yesterday. It was real good fun though, thinking of setting up a captain's ball club here in the village.
After my crazy week at school, I was looking forward to a restful holiday. Unfortunately, I haven't really had one. This holidays have almost been jam packed with OCF activities. Just had a leadership camp over the weekend, which was really good - practical and enjoyed fellowshipping with the other 2 centres. As my MSN nick states, I truly am drained physically.
I wonder why. I mean if I am doing what God wants me to, shouldn't I "run and not grow weary, walk and not be faint"? (Isaiah 40:31b). Why is it that I am constantly so tired? I told a friend recently that ever since I have grown closer to God, my life seems more cluttered.
You may be wondering why I say that. Knowing God ought to make my life simpler, cuz my focus should be on Him and Him only. However as my heart starts to beat like His, I realize my life cannot stay 'simple' anymore. Gone are the days when I spend days and hours on end, just doing my own stuff. It was just me, myself and I. Holing myself in my room or at home, reading a book, watching some drama or even have the luxury of spending as much time as I want doing my assignments. Despite my inner yearning to do those, I am truly compelled by Christ's love (2Cor 5:14) to do otherwise. This does not mean that the time spent being there for others is done unwillingly, I really love building up other people. 'Compelled' in this sense is really 'I can't help but do so'.
Does this imply that I am being compelled to exhaustion? No - the only reason I am feeling exhausted is because I have been trying to do all these on my own strength, my own reserve, which obviously is limited. If I rely on God's strength, drawing upon His limitless resource, I will not be having this problem. Going back to Isaish 40:31, the first part of the verse says "but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles". If I want to not grow tired and weary, then I will have to place my hope in the Lord and not on myself.
This I am still learning to do, having grown up with such an independent spirit in me. I am not super-woman and never will be. I am only human and need my rest. Why else did God create Sabbath for us? Sabbath is important even during the season of harvest, when one is busiest. I like how Uncle Vincent describes Sabbath: "Unhurried time and space to get out of the frenzy of life, to listen to God". Sabbath is not a waste of time or efficiency. It is necessary and like a Chinese saying which goes "休息是为了走更长的路" (ie rest so that you can go a longer way).
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
i decided to post my AGM report, which should sum up my past of year of serving in OCF.
From the Programs & Teaching Ministry Coordinator, Lydea Gn…
The past one year has been a roller coaster ride for me, with countless highs and lows. It was a period I believe I will never forget as God used the events that occurred to mould me and shape me, so that I may be transformed into the image of Christ.
A year ago, I agreed to be the Programs and Teaching Ministry Coordinator as I wanted to serve in a ministry that has touched my life. Without OCF, I would not have rediscovered a love for God nor would I have adjusted so well to the role of an international student. I really thank God for leading me to OCF and the work He has done through OCF.
As Programs and Teaching ministry coordinator, I was responsible for the year’s program, including bible studies, speaker sessions and fellowship nights. However, if I did not have the committee’s wholehearted support, the program would never have come to fruition. Thank you my fellow commies, for your willingness to serve God and His people.
Preparing for bible studies required extensive research of resource materials so that they effectively complement the vision of the year. This instilled the discipline of studying God’s Word and I found that the more I pored through the Bible, the more I hungered for Him. As I did not have experience with group bible studies prior to being in OCF, this portfolio has been an exponential learning process and I would like to thank all my bible study leaders for being so patient with me. Every single one of you has a wealth of wisdom and I have learnt so much from all of you. I cannot thank God enough for your obedience to the voice of the Holy Spirit and your selflessness in leading bible studies.
Besides the BS leaders, I would also like to thank Garry who has always been there, giving me godly advice and vetting through the bible studies despite his busy schedule. Many thanks to Vanessa as well for all her encouragement and support. May the Lord continue to work through both of you and use you mightily to bring glory to His name.
Even though there have been times I got discouraged by my own mistakes, God always reminded me that, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9) It has been truly amazing and utterly humbling to see God work through the mess I made and use it for His purposes. Thank you God for the opportunity to serve you, thank you for allowing me to be a part of Your plan despite my inadequacies and thank you for Your constant guidance, patience, comfort and love that You have graciously bestowed upon me.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
I am absolutely bubbling with excitement and am typing this immediately after coming home from church. Today Pastor Steve Kelly spoke and guess what the title of his sermon was?
Theology of Optimism
About 2 weeks ago I wrote a post on a similar topic and this month I have been continually challenged to always look on the bright side of things. Its been so amazing to see how God is affirming His word to me and with that, my faith in Him grows ever more so.
Ps Steve took his sermon out of Genesis 1, the first book of the bible. I reckon many people, Christians and non-Christians alike have read this book. “In the beginning…” Im sure this phrase is familiar to lots of people. However, today, despite reading this passage many times over the years of my life, I have been introduced to a fresh new view. That’s what’s so amazing about the bible – the words remain the same, but it never fails to bring a brand new revelation each time. Each passage has a different application depending on your stage in life.
Ps Steve started off with how God thinks differently from us. (Duh… but you would be surprised how many people expect to have God all figured out. If we could understand everything about God, He wouldn’t be God anymore would He?)
How do you start your day?
With the morning right? And you end it with the evening. Correct? (unless you are having a night shift)
Genesis 1:5 says “God called the light ‘day’, and the darkness he called ‘night’. And there was evening, and there was morning – the first day.”
Hold on a minute. God started His day with EVENING and ended with the DAY. God’s day started in the dark and ended in the light.
The wisest man who ever lived wrote in Ecclesiastes 7:8 “The end of a matter is better than its beginning”.
What does this all mean? It means things are gonna get better! It doesn’t matter what the matter is, the end is gonna be better than the beginning. Regardless of whether you are in a good situation or bad situation now, its gonna get better! The best is yet to come.
If you are going thru tough times, and it seems there never was a good time in your life you would probably identify with Job (click here to read his story). This poor guy lost all his 10 children, livestock (which was heaps cuz he was a really rich bloke) and even his health, afflicted with painful sores all over his body. Now this guy was described as “blameless and upright, a man who feared God and shunned evil” (Job1:1).So obviously it was not because he was evil and that he was being punished. The reason why this guy had this whole lot of undeserved trouble is for another post, but if we read the last chapter of the book, Job 42:12 reads “The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the first.”
So you see that God has better things in store for you, even if it may seem at this point in time that His blessings seem to just fall everywhere except on you. If you read about Jesus’ first miracle, when He turned the water into wine at a wedding, the master of the wedding banquet says this of the wine, “Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.” (John 2:10).
Going back to Genesis 1, we see that God only rested after He made man in His image. Therefore God will not rest until you and I have been transformed by Him into His image. God does not give up halfway, He will complete the good work He has started in us (Philippians 1: 6). His image, His reflection is not impossible to achieve!
Dear brothers and sisters-in-Christ, I hope you are encouraged by this word as I have been. Truly God saves the best for the last. He is in your future, waiting for you to catch up. If you are going through a tough period, pls either tag or drop me a mail, I would love to pray for you.
Due to my experience growing up, I am often plagued with negativity. I am extremely critical of both myself and the people around me. It was not unusual for me to wrap myself in a holier-than-thou attitude which obviously ‘helped’ my PR skills. Having rediscovered a love for God, I am slowly learning to exchange criticism for encouragement, and what joy it is to be lifting people up instead of tearing them down.
Its very natural to focus on the negative and neglect the positive. The past one year of serving in OCF has opened my eyes to working in a Christian environment. I started wide-eyed and anticipated a warm and loving environment. One year later, all I can say is that it was nothing like what I expected. Somehow adding “Christianity” to the equation made things more complicated rather than simpler. A co-worker of mine once told me that she feels quite disillusioned and I can share her sentiment. BUT a very wise brother of mine helped me see the good in the situation instead of focusing on the negative.
Recently we had an occasion where we would all go out in the campus to invite students for an outreach event during the holidays. Sadly, the turnout was very small. When I shared about my disappointment with that very wise brother, he taught me to be encouraged by those who came rather than be discouraged by those who did not. It was simply a case of a glass being half empty or half full. I believe that choosing to see things in a positive light or negative way would determine your outlook of life.
My biological brother would probably attest to me being way too idealistic and some might even think I am foolish. But I believe I can make a difference in this world, not by my own merits but by God’s grace. Perhaps I am foolish, but I much rather be a fool for God than be wise for the world. We have been called to preach the GOOD NEWS, so brothers and sisters, please do not let negativity get in the way!
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
I don't understand why it 'pours' whenever it 'rains'. Please pray that I will somehow accomplish everything I have to...
After attending Hillsong conference, I was spurred to volunteer at my church conference which happens next week. Thinking I have a pretty relaxed schedule, I volunteered to help out on mon and tues when I do not have school. This would all be fine if not for:
Saturday, September 01, 2007
i have decided that the next time there is something on my mind, i will blog about it and get it off my chest. this not only ensures that i do not incur any chestaches due to bottling up all my feelings, but also i won't have to do 'spring cleaning' everytime i blog (i.e. clear cobwebs that have appeared due to my long leave of absence)
today i just wanna share about the power of positive thinking. this is gonna sound like some inspirational talk or something but i hope you will find this useful.
think about this:
You become who you are not by what happens to you but by your perception of what happens.
Agree?
For example, your parents may treat you well. However if you perceive that they do not love you as much as your sibling, you may well suffer from insecurities and an inferiority complex.
We can often be plagued by negative thoughts throughout the day. However, the way we respond to these thoughts is what separates a victor from a victim.
I am very insecure about certain issues - especially when it comes to friends. When I see my friends treating my other friends nice, I worry that they will like each other more than they like me. I.e. I get jealous. I constantly struggle with this and you could say this is the torn in my flesh, because I really do not enjoy feeling that way.
Thankfully I have learnt to look on the positive side of everything, well almost (still trying to see the positives in me missing the bus 3 times due to the bus company's screw up and being late for 3 appointments, one of them an interview. so far i only know that God was really teaching patience as I probably waited 2 hours in all that day). Anyway, with regards to the issue above, by God's grace I manage to see it as my friends showing Christ's love to my other friend. Instead of getting jealous, I was thankful that they are reaching out to my friend and encouraged them to continue to doing so. If I did not change my attitude, I dare say my friendships with both people would definitely have been hurt.
Another example of positive thinking would be as I was helping this friend when she told me she felt insecure and inferior when her boyfriend told her he admired certain characteristics in other girls. I told her not to feel threatened but to join her boyfriend in admiring what is beautiful, good, pure and noble. I told her that he was in some way encouraging her to become a better person and to see it as a challenge to be more Christ-like. Even if they are things that are simply aesthetically pleasing, there is no reason why she can't admire them too. I believe God created beauty to be admired. I think what her boyfriend told her was very wise:
He asked her to pick a flower at a florist and she did and so did he. Then he asked her if the rest of the flowers which she didn't pick were not beautiful. Cuz not right? Just because we have made our pick, does not mean that the rest are not beautiful and that we can't admire them right? Similarly although they have chosen each other, they can still admire the beauty in others.
The next time you are on the verge of becoming depressed due to negative thinking do try and look on the bright side. If you search hard enough, you will be able to find it eventually. Otherwise come talk to me and I'll help you find that silver lining =D
Thanks to all the blogs i referred to (countless) for html code help :) (esp. cyn' and sixseven)
Adobe Photoshop Elements for supernatural abilities
