Saturday, September 23, 2006
this is the post I wanted to blog sometime back but other things cropped out, so here it is...
From the inside out
A thousand times I’ve failed, still your mercy remains.
And should I stumble again, still I’m caught in your grace.
Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades.
Never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame.
In my heart, in my soul, I give you control, consume me from the inside out.
Let justice and praise, become my embrace, to love you from the inside out.
Your will above all else, my purpose remains.
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise.
Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades.
Never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame.
And the cry of my heart is to bring you praise, from the inside out, Lord, my soul cries out.
This is one of the new songs I have learnt here in Australia that have really touched my heart. Lately I have been feeling horrible about myself. Not in a sense of having low self esteem, but having a strong awareness of my sinful, imperfect nature. Being a perfectionist, it hurts to know how far away from being perfect I really am. Almost every other thought, I am judging people, I am NOT slow to anger and I often find it hard to love everybody. You may say no one is perfect, and I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. Perhaps, but it doesn’t change anything. I am still a flawed human being.
I can’t stand hypocrites, and I really do not wish to be one either. And so for the record, let me admit that it is hard to live my life wholly for God. With friends, school work, and other distractions, its an effort finding time for Him. As I become more involved in OCF, it may seem that I am doing His will, but what He really wants is me, not my service, to love Him from the inside out.
Back home, my faith was dead, cuz faith without works is dead. Coming here, I thought by throwing myself into church and Christian fellowship activities, I could grow closer to Him. Now I know that it is not those acts of service, but my heart that He sees. And I can’t work out a passion for Him, only He can spark the fire in me.
Looking back at the past year, I finally understand His plan and purpose for me. When I thought that my dream of helping underprivileged children in the developing world was taken away, He has graciously given it back to me. A year ago, I would have never imagined becoming a missionary, but now the idea of being medical missionary is constantly floating across my mind. To be a tentmaker, using my profession as an opportunity to enter what would otherwise be uncharted territory for missionaries. So you see, it is possible for me to obtain my degree to fulfill the Great Commission and glorify Him!
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Got this from a friend's blog, who got it from another friend's blog, and decided how apt it is to what I want to blog about today.
Today is Steve Irwin's funeral. Since I am down under, the news have been flashing with live updates of his memorial held at the Australian Zoo where his name has been so closely linked. Scores of friends and strangers alike, are sitted among the stands and many a tear is shed. Of all the eulogies given, the one who received a standing ovation was the one given by his daughter. He would have been proud of her.
As some would have known, Steve Irwin started to attend church a few weeks before his death. I wondered why didn't God use him to influence others, why did he take away his life so soon after his conversion?
Ever since his death, many have come to know about Steve's contributions to conserving wildlife beyond his tv stints. His love for animals is plain for all to see. His conservation works are truly admirable.
I do not know why God took him the way He did, but I am glad that God took him after he was saved and not before.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Its close to midnight and I still have class tomorrow. Wasn’t sure whether I should be blogging but as I turned to do my quiet time, the Lord spoke to me.
I intended to blog about something else initially, the unfinished post is still somewhere on my computer. I started on this book, the life you’ve always wanted, before I had the chance to finish the post and I decided it would be better to post it another time.
Just came back from my church conference.
Its amazing to say the least. An absolute eye opening experience. I bet if some people from my church in Singapore came, they would be dumbstruck.
For starters, there were thousands of people there. Australians are surprisingly more kiasu than Singaporeans, reserving rows of seats using notebooks, coats and baby toys. Then comes the worship. For both nights I went, the first two songs were like a rock concert, both in style and decibel level. I seriously have no idea why they have to make it so loud that you can’t hear yourself sing. I believe most of them have some hearing loss. For goodness sake, some even bring babies and the babies still can fall asleep amidst the noise. If it weren’t such that I tremendously enjoy the other ¾ of the songs, I would very much like to keep my hearing.
Oh, by the way, Australians like to jump. I wonder how the stage does not collapse when almost everyone, song leaders, choir and musicians, are jumping. And I honestly felt like I was in a rock concert and I am surrounded by groupies.
Australians can get really loud, especially when they are high. Some of them were like on ecstasy the whole entire night. I am not just talking about the youths but middle-aged women, shouting, “yea!”, “Amen!” and who knows what else, everytime the person on stage says something. Lol, as if he can hear them. But knowing that 1/3 of South Australian youths take or have taken ecstasy, I very much rather people get high on God. At least there aren’t any harmful side effects.
Now you may be wondering, just what exactly did God speak to me? Cuz it sure doesn’t sound very holy to slam a church, much less your own. No, I did this to show you that my church is not perfect, no church is, for churches are all filled with imperfect people. But the reason I stay on is because I believe in what this church does.
Thank God for Pastor Danny, who believes in building a Monday church besides a Sunday church. Back home, the church I went to was confined to the four walls of the building. People went to church to get spiritually fed. But the question is, where is God for the rest of the week?
Over the past 2 years, Pastor Danny has led Edge church on various community projects, such as renovating a school and prison or simply buying a brand new car for a couple (who aren’t from church) in need. He does this not so that Edge will become famous, he does it simply because he wants to show the community God’s unconditional love. He does it not so that more people will come to his church, but he wants people to know that the Church, which is the body of Christ, cares. His vision is that churches of different denominations will work hand in hand to serve the community.
Can you imagine the impact it will make if Christians, of all denominations, worked hand in hand? Gosh, I can’t wait for that day!
The first commandment is to love God and the second is to love our neighbour as ourself. Now if we do not love our neighbour, we cannot love God. And who is our neighbour? Our neighbour is anyone in need. I believe that Pastor Danny’s vision fulfills these commandments.
To be honest, I do not think the churches in Singapore are loving their neighbours. You may say that renovation of schools in Singapore is the government’s responsibility. Cars with COE are far too exorbitant, besides we have an excellent public transport system. True, but even in affluent Singapore, there exists needs, if only we are willing to open our eyes and see. Kids from lower income families, whose parents cannot afford tuition. The elderly who have to fend for themselves. The sick and lonely in hospitals. Needs are everywhere, its only whether we want to meet them.
Jesus healed the sick, had compassion on the poor and commanded us to take care of widows and orphans. Are we doing likewise?
We are called to be the salt of the Earth, not salt of the church. Church shouldn’t be just about learning how to lead your life right, or knowing what is morally right and wrong. Church should be about leading your life right and doing what is right. We fail to be effective testimonies and often people have misconceptions about Christianity because we do not practice what we preach. We condemn but do not help. Who needs a church like that?
I would like to challenge churches in Singapore and churches all over the world, as well as all individual Christians, to love your neighbour.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
I initially wanted to blog about this new song that I fell in love with singing in church, but then something just hit me and I decided to blog about something else, not because I am afraid that my non-Christian friends will stop visiting this blog, since it is becoming such that every post is about God.
Finished watching this J-drama, 1 litre of tears, which Val got for me for my birthday. Its a beautiful show, based on a true story, about a girl who got spinocerebellar degeneration (SCD) disease at the age of 15. It is a cruel and debilitating disease in which one slowly loses control of one's motor skills. Many things that most of us take for granted, such as walking, talking and eating, slowly but surely become things that a person with the disease would have much difficulty with. There is no cure at the moment and the cause is still unknown as to why the brain cells in that area just start to die.
At a certain stage, the patient's symptoms would seem to mirror that of some stroke victims. However, for stroke victims, rehabilitation and therapy has the possibility of improving their condition. On the other hand, a patient with SCD, their condition will only deteriorate with time. I can only imagine the frustration and helplessness they may feel.
The girl whom this story was based on, wrote a diary throughout the course of the disease, up to her death, at the age of 25. Her strength and determination to live on has touched the lives of many and encouraged those with the same disease. One quote that struck me was, "What is my purpose for living?"
Have you ever asked yourself this question? I think about the millions of children in the world who are starving. I think about those with cerebral palsy or cancer. And I even think about the late Steve Irwin. How many of us just live from day to day, wasting our lives away while out there there are others who try so hard to live life to the fullest? There are people whose lives are like shooting stars, shining brightly but only for a short while. They have so much to offer, but with so little time. Perhaps its because they know how much time they have left and that is why they try so hard. For the rest of us, death is something we try not to think about. But the thing is we never know what lies await for us in the future. I am pretty sure that when Steve Irwin did not expect to die the day he went out to film a show for his daughter. Likewise, we will never know when will we take our last breath.
For me, I would like to make a difference in this world, living the life for which God created me for. I pray that when the day comes for me to meet my Saviour, He would say to me, "Well done, good and faithful servant."
What about you? How would you like to be remembered after you have left this earth?
Would like to share the 2 songs from the show:
Only human by K http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHaezth4o44 (pls take note of the lyrics, which has english translations, the song is in the middle of the clip)
Konayuki by Remioromen http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pake1weYhXU&NR
Thanks to all the blogs i referred to (countless) for html code help :) (esp. cyn' and sixseven)
Adobe Photoshop Elements for supernatural abilities
