~May Your Light Shine :D~

Monday, March 13, 2006

I do realize that I am blogging at an appalling rate of 1 post per week… well that is just about the mean rate as that in Singapore, however it just feels like I haven’t done it in ages. I think its most probably you dun see me on msn as often as you used to. I know some of you expect me to be online more often now that I can’t just call you out to go window shopping at Tampines Mall or Orchard. Do forgive me, cuz your dear friend here is a really stingy person, and thus I try to minimize internet usage over in my house. One of the main reasons really why I want to move out of this nice, spacious room, which offers a wonderful view of the rest of the city at a neat price of AUD 130 a week (internet, phone and food not included). But I promise to keep everyone back home as up to date as possible with any new stuff in my life (and Val that includes a boyfriend, if I ever get one), so dun you worry that you wun recognize me when I come back (which would be in July, if air ticket prices are good)

Umm, I just finished watching Bridget Jones’s Diary on DVD which I borrowed from the State Library, so this post might seem more like something I would verbally tell you rather than in written form. Funny show, and although I think Hugh Grant is more charming than Colin Firth, the latter ain’t too bad himself. Although I think Matthew McConaughey is much cuter in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. Well there, that pretty much sums up how I spent my weekend, other than cooking, cleaning the kitchen/dining area, washing and ironing clothes. Tmr (or rather today cuz I am blogging this the night before on WinWord) is a public holiday, one of the few in Adelaide actually, so peeps back home, stop complaining. Plan to do my readings tonight and hopefully start on my Anatomy and Physiology assignment due on the 24th , tmr at the library. Sounds dull I know, esp since I have yet to explore the city. However, I am totally clueless over how to complete this assignment and since it constitutes 12.5% of my total grade for the module, I better sacrifice a public holiday for it.

Although I stay in an all-girls apartment, I have a flatmate who regularly brings her bf over to stay. I shouldn’t be complaining cuz Rachel has it worse, she has flatmates who have their bfs over. Well this is something I would not tell my parents if I could (that’s why they do not know the add to this blog, at least I hope not), cuz I wouldn’t want them to worry about my morals degrading and such. I know some of you may be ambivalent over the issue of pre-marital sex, but I strongly believe in saving sex for marriage. Not only does it protect you (esp if you are a girl), but I also believe that it is something that should be reserved only for your spouse. I am no prude, and her bf is really nice, friendly and helpful. However, its best I do not know what goes on behind closed doors.

Anyway, my parents should have nothing to worry about cuz I feel the strong urge to play an active role in OCF(no link? Hmm… ). Maybe its because I never had such a fellowship group back in Singapore, or maybe it’s the familiarity of hearing the more than occasional lahs and lors. Whatever the reason, I feel something igniting in me everytime I praise Him here (I know I have no excuse and shouldn’t be blaming anyone for my lack of passion for Christ, but I think all those years in a BP church sort of stifled the flame in me). There are also non-Christians in OCF, who are lovely people as well, but they remind me of my loved ones whom I may not see in eternity. But that’s for another post…

Went to another church today, to this really secluded, ulu place in the hills, called Coromandel Baptist Church. The pastor preached on the passage of the ‘contest’ between Elijah and the priests of Baal (1 Kings 18:14-46). Actually it is a ‘contest’ between God and Baal, because it was God who sent the fire down from heaven. Elijah was just God’s messenger. Likewise, only God and light the fire in us and others. We can’t do it ourselves nor can we light the fire in other people. Only God can turn the hearts of people back to Him. Now you may wonder if our God is such a great God, why did His ppl stop worshipping Him? Well, other than the fact that we are numbskulls, we like to think we are smart practical ppl. You see, Baal was the god of rain, clouds and whatnots and he supposedly enabled the crops to grow. Being the god he was, he was always wrestling with another god and if it rained, it meant he was winning and if it didn’t, well it just meant that he was losing. Marvel at the human imagination sometimes. Now in Elijah’s time, ppl worshipped Baal cos they needed good harvest, although many knew Yahweh, the God who brought them out of slavery in Egypt. We may think that if we know Christ, we can’t be as dumb as the Israelites back then (btw the Jews are the most intelligent race). We may think that we know the grace of God and His glory & power. True we probably wun go running to praying to ancestors (long dead, buried 6 feet underground or reduced to ashes), or some other god – sorry if this offends anyone, but not sorry to say it. Anyway at the end of the day, who do we trust to get the job done? Ourselves? Our intellect? Are we placing our faith in people or things other than God? Well if the answer is yes, than that is your Baal.

For me, my Baal was my academic grades. If you know me, than perhaps you may think well that was a very reliable and good Baal. Perhaps… but it did not give me the one thing I thought I wanted most. I have always been a very independent person, and that meant not depending on anyone except me. Some of you may think I am harping, that I am already starting a new phase of my life, and should just put the past behind me. However I feel that sometimes the past has a lot to teach us. I strongly believe that God led me to Adelaide for a reason. Exactly why, I am still finding out, but part of the process of getting me here was to deny me the one goal I held for 5 years. When I did not become a prefect in sch or part of the choir com, which I also badly wanted, I convinced myself that people just did not know a gem when they saw one and that it was their loss, not mine (I have such a huge ego right?). Hence, my grades became the one constant I could rely on and take control of, and I took pride in them. Before I knew it, I started measuring myself by my grades. Although not doing well did not drive me to depression, thankfully, it pushed me to work even harder. Nothing wrong with that actually, but I saw my worth in my academic results. Now I know how wrong I was, for good grades alone will not get me to where I want to, in fact no matter what I do will not get me where I want to. Because regardless of everything, my life will go on exactly the way God wants me to and my worth lies in the fact that Christ died for me. That doesn’t mean I just drift along, quite the opposite, I ought to do my best in whatever has been laid out for me, cuz it was planned for my best interests. This means I ought to be heading back to my books, but before I finish this post, let me ask you a question. Where does your worth lie?

Lydea blogged at 3:06 PM

May your light shine...
in the darkness...