~May Your Light Shine :D~

Saturday, September 03, 2005

I cried again.
Can't remember since when I became a crybaby.
I can't stand whining but I guess I haven't gotten over it...

My ex-civics tutor emailed us and asked us to update her about our course of study. Initially I was really excited, as I needed her help with my academic reference for accomodation and wrote to her what I have been up to these few weeks.

However, when I read my friend's reply. It suddenly hit me again. Out of 26 in my class, 4 made it to medicine. 3 girls and 1 guy. (this is so as to dispel claims that the quota for girls in medicine still stands) Call me sour grapes, but it is honestly difficult for me to be truly happy for them. Although they may complain about their hectic schedules, while I seem to be on honeymoon, they represent the one thing I really wanted but could not obtain.

The JC2 prelims start next week, and it feels unreal that a year has passed just like this. Back then, I was one of the few able to say I could make it into medicine. Yet, now, the tables have turned...

I think the one reason I find it so hard to swallow was the very fact it seemed like they had no reason not to accept me. Till now, I sometimes ponder on the same question many have asked me - What happened? Why didn't you enter medicine? It wasn't as though I did not do well enough, or neglected CCA/CIP, or that my character is appalling. Is it?

Perhaps unless I find out the truth, I may not be able to close this chapter of my life. I do not wish to look back next time, and still wish to become a doctor. However, I am also afraid of knowing what the true reason is. Quite a coward, am I?

Anyway, enough of self pity. For those who were in AHS, I am pretty sure you will remember Mr Liew, the math teacher who loved to sing on special occasions. Go take a look at the cover page of Home in today's Strait's Times. His wife is now in a coma due to an accident in which the judge felt that both his wife and the driver were in the wrong. Please keep him and his family in prayer that the Lord will be with them during this trying period and keep them. May God's peace be upon them, that they may find rest in Him.

Lydea blogged at 7:58 PM

May your light shine...
in the darkness...